Can Better Mean Different?

A choice isn't really better than another, but just different. It is when we judge them that we categorize them into better, worse, etc.

I know I talk about a lot of things using analogies to give meaning to important things. This really isn't just out of randomness to throw your attention away from getting to know me personally and focus on getting to know my ideas. But my ideas and thoughts are a part of who I am. Perhaps, having an understanding of how I view things might give you a bit of an insight into who I really am.

So let's get right into it...

We sometimes tend to deny our actions in many different situations. We say things like "it can never be me" or "that's not who I am."

But we are those things. We've soaked up false information from social media gurus and online motivational speakers telling us we need to live in the standard of our "better selves." And that's where the conflict begins.

You say to yourself: I am not going to get upset by anything or anyone. I'm just gonna let whatever situation that presents itself, pass through me. I am above the situation. While all these are nice things to say or think, how long are you going to hold it in till you explode? Till that little incident happens and you displace your suppressed anger into it. The funny thing is that when you realize what has occurred, you begin to question yourself. You ask: How could I have done such a thing? You begin to think that you do not recognize yourself anymore because it goes against who you've known yourself to be. But this is a clear truth that you only had known a part of yourself, and the other part you choose to ignore.

Would it be difficult for you to accept the person you have always denied you weren't? "I'm not an addict", "I don't yell when I'm angry", "I'm not a gossip", "I don't talk in my sleep"...or snore either... anyways, what do you think would happen if you admitted to yourself that you are those things? What would happen if you told yourself the complete truth? Would you rather I record you while sleeping before you believed you talk in your sleep? Yes, I am an amazing person and (not but) I'm addicted to drugs.

The presence of one doesn't automatically mean the absence of the other.

The presence of one shouldn't lead to the denial of the other.  Being an amazing person that's addicted to drugs shouldn't have any labels or judgment. It has to do with you - the person. It's your call to decide whether the addiction is beneficial to you or not (whether in the short term or in the long term), or is an indifference. Accepting the part of you that has been in denial isn't really new information, so it doesn't really tell you anything. You have been that person for a while now, but it seems new because just recently, you acknowledged it.

What's the point of all this, you ask? It's only to get you to see that being a drug addict isn't a lesser you, and being an amazing person isn't a better you. It's just another (different) side of you. We say "we're on our worst days" but we're just on days that feel worse to us. And when we say "we're living our best lives", does it mean that the days when we are at our worst, we weren't ourselves? No. Just because we're known for one thing today, doesn't mean we can't be known for another thing tomorrow. And just because our actions are "good" today, doesn't mean we can't act "badly" tomorrow, or we don't have the ability to decide to be "bad". There is no better or worse, there just is. We can be all things sometimes but we can't be one thing all the time, and that's the beauty of humanity, to encompass diversity in the way we express ourselves (to ourselves and) to others.

I hope you realize that your "better" and "worst" selves are still you just experiencing different things. Till next time... xx

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